JoMary Riders Monthly Report – May 2008

I have to wonder (as I sit here writing this letter) if there’s still going to be snow on the ground when you read this. The lake is still frozen over (April 21) and big snowbanks are everywhere. Scott & John Clements rode 150 miles yesterday and the only brown that he encountered was the “Moose Poop Craters”. It surely has been one hell of a winter.And it ended with one hell of a good time at the Annual MSA dinner. We didn’t bring home any awards but still had a wonderful time (our table was the rowdy one!). Unlike last year the food was really great.Tom Allen and Susan Collins were both there smoozing with the crowd, hoping to win votes for the upcoming Senate race. The two guest speakers were very interesting to listen to;  the keynote speaker was supposed to be Ernest Hemingway but he couldn’t make it. So he sent Nelson Mandela to talk about The Snows of Kilimanjaro and the economic impact of snowmobiling in Tanzania. As it turns out, global warming is killing their business. The second speaker was from a much colder country, visiting Maine for the first time in winter (he visited George Sr. in Kennebunk many summers ago) Mikhail Gorbachev gave a very interesting overview of snowmobiling in The Mother Country. He shared with us a little known fact…. the only sleds allowed in Russia are Ski Doo’s. First of all they’re Canadian and are not considered a threat to the socio-economic health of the emerging snowmobile industry (unlike the American and Japanese manufacturers). Secondly, after extensive testing, it was found that the Rotax powered Ski Doo performed extremely well on the locally produced vodka (which is a lot cheaper than gasoline over there).  Sadly, an unfortunate consequence of the vodka fueled sleds was an increase in fatalities this winter. Oh no, not from accidents. It seems as though the Russian riders would go out for a nice ride but before heading back for home they consumed so much of the “fuel” that the sled couldn’t make it back and the riders  froze to death. Poor, dumb Russkies!

The weekend before the MSA Dinner was also a very festive time. We dedicated the new Jo Mary Riders Clubhouse on Rt.11. John St. Cyr and Andy Birse did a great job on the pig roast. (It was good to see Andy, he hasn’t been around much this winter.) Over 350 people showed up on the lake for the “big event”, the Radar Runs with $5000 in cash prizes. Just as the races were about to start some Gestapo type State Troopers, dressed as Game Wardens, shut down the whole event because we hadn’t purchased a $15 gaming license from the State. Actually, I think that they got an anonymous tip from Pat McGowan who was circling overhead in his plane. So all of the money was confiscated and used to reduce the States budget deficit. It didn’thelp much. We did have a Poker Run (although no license was obtained for it either). Paul Monroe, a former Floridiot who now calls Ebeemee Lake home, had the winning hand. Asked how he felt about winning  he said (in memory of JFK), ” Ich bein ein Ebeemeer”. Many BMW dealers called him in the following days. Mogen Bates is still missing from that poker run. He thought that we were playing Texas Hold ‘Em and he’s still out on the trail somewhere holding his cards. Maybe those Yamaha’s run on vodka too! Anyway, a good time was had by all. Thanks for your continued support. Y’all come back now, hear.

The smiling gas attendant.

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